Our children have it all relatively easy. They don’t lack food, clothes, toys, playtime… they grow up in a frantic world where some fun is a click away and opening the refrigerator is enough to get some food to eat.
To this we add that the most common type of parent today adopts “helicopter parenting”; a tremendously protective type of parent willing to substitute for their child. The kind that asks for pictures of the pages from the textbook in the class’ WhatsApp group or that even fills out university admission or school-work forms for them.
The risk of this lies in the fact that such an easy life departs greatly from what our kids’ adult life will be about. The work world is not always easy, especially during these times of crisis, and instilling a sense of effort in children is crucial if we want them to never give up and fight for their future.
Here you have some ideas to help you with this
(If you don’t understand Spanish you can read them below)
-Value the process more than the result: Say things like “your History assignment is very comprehensive, it’s great that you’ve searched so many sources”, “the test is on Friday- half an hour a day of work and you will make it” or “you are really, really close to getting that handstand, I can tell you are making an effort”.
-Always verbalize mistakes as part of the process for improving: For instance: “Now that you know that this doesn’t work you are closer to the solution”.
-Don’t exaggerate on compliments: if we constantly tell our children how smart or what a champ they are, they will perceive that we value success more than the effort behind it. It’s a way of preventing them from feeling performance anxiety (there are tons of children who lie to their parents about their grades for fear of losing their “intelligent” label).
-Start with yourself: it’s important that your kids see how you make an effort on something. You know by now that children learn by emulation. Try learning something with them. Find a tutorial on YouTube on something that you are not too good at: a dance, cooking, gymnastics. Let them see how you learn and that you take your mistakes on board.
I’d love to read your opinion on this. Don’t forget to leave your comments below!