The other day I watched “The Creators“, a documentary about YouTube superstars, and I was surprised to learn that Tomska, a guy followed by millions of people, actually feels alone and needs to take antidepressants everyday.
What good are millions of followers if you wake up in the morning without enthusiasm and a smile on your face?
Here you have a few ideas to become your biggest fan. If you don’t understand Spanish you can read them below:
Stop comparing yourself:
Picture this: you’ve just come back from work and you are exhausted, your house is a mess, your fridge is empty. You open Instagram and bang!, “the perfect dinner” bang!, “the tidiest home ever”, bang!, “the house of your dreams”. And just like that, in one fell swoop, your mood hits rock bottom. But what’s the point of comparing your life to those in the pictures? Think about it, it doesn’t make any sense. What you are doing is comparing your completely banal, daily moment with the super edited version of the best moment ever that other person had. Obviously that’s a game you’re always going to lose.
Also, you need to take into consideration that there is a lot of randomness in the way people share content. Latest statistics show that a huge percentage of people share content without even watching it first. “Like” doesn’t equal “You are interesting”. Some of the most interesting people I know are not even in social media and I’m sure the same happens with some of your friends.
Learn to be alone:
Maxwell Math said: “If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone”. If being alone makes you feel uncomfortable you’ll end up always seeking validation from others and you’ll be constantly looking for somebody to fill that void that can only be filled by yourself. Let me propose this challenge to you: which place do you find it the hardest to go by yourself? For some it may be a restaurant, for others the movies. Think about yours and this week challenge yourself to go there alone. It could just be the first date with the best relationship of your life.
Judge your actions but do not criticize them:
If we want to improve ourselves, learning to judge our actions objectively is key. However, even though we are able to judge others, when it comes to the person in the mirror we lose all objectivity and start criticizing immediately. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Let’s just focus on victories and accomplishments and forget about defeats.
Start collecting compliments:
Most of the time, when somebody says something nice to us we don’t give it much importance. But the tiniest critique can keep us awake at night. Dr Nass’s book “The Man Who Lied to His Laptop” helps us understand why humans process negative and positive feedback so differently. Apparently is has been like that since the primitive man. He had to focus on dangers and threats and that’s the way our brain is wired now.
Why not dedicate a notebook or a computer file to all the nice things people say to you or about you? It’s a great tool to cheer you up on those blue days and is also a way to help fix the idea in your head that indeed, you have a lot of wonderful things going for you!
What other tools do you use to become your biggest fan? I’d love to hear them! And remember, becoming one’s best friend is long and hard work but there has never been any other work worth starting.